The 21st Century Pub

The pub, with origins going back several hundred years, is under threat as never before. Several reasons have been identified, most notably the availability of cheap (but often inferior) booze in supermarkets, tenancy restrictions and high rents imposed on landlords by the pub owners, and the smoking ban. Sadly, until the government recognizes that these little buildings scattered throughout the country are not only an irreplaceable community focus but also a major tourist magnet, unique to the British Isles and Ireland and contributing significantly to our national wealth, we are in danger of losing them forever.

Can I Do Anything?

Yes, turn your computer off now and go straight to the pub.




Sunday 26 August 2012

Lindisfarne



Lindisfarne, or Holy Island, is part island and part peninsula. Unless you own a boat, the only access from the mainland is over a long, narrow causeway at low tide. When the tide turns, Lindisfarne becomes an island again. This unusual feature was a major attraction for us in the early 1970s, when English licensing laws stipulated that all pubs must close at 10.30 pm, even at weekends. To avoid this draconian law, we often made our way north from County Durham to spend a few nights on the island. Once ensconced in the Crown and Anchor, we were able to drink until the early hours, safe in the knowledge that a police raid was highly unlikely.

In 1973, there were four pubs on the island - The Crown and Anchor, The Northumberland Arms (also known as The Ship), The Castle Hotel and The Iron Rails.


 
Alan Billingham, Baron Styxton, Mrs Mole, Terry Smith, Colin Mole (Landlord) and me in The Crown and Anchor on 1st April 1973.
Note the photograph of The Queen on the wall above the fireplace.





Terry Smith, Landlord Colin Mole and fierce dog outside the Crown and Anchor in 1973
 
The night Mrs Mole saved Terry Smith’s life but not his embarrassment
Our accommodation on Lindisfarne in the 1970s was a room (well, a wooden shed) situated at the back of the Crown and Anchor.  One morning, in the early hours, young Terry Smith nipped into the pub toilets, unaware that there was a couple of Rottweilers on the loose. As he attempted to leave the toilets, he was met by two snarling dogs. In desperation, Terry called for help and after a while the Landlord's wife heard his cries and called the dogs away. Terry emerged from the Gents wearing nothing but a pair of purple underpants, much to the amusement of Mrs Mole. She never let the poor lad forget it.
 
Mrs Mole, Terry Smith, Colin Mole and two regulars in The Crown and Anchor on 1st April 1973. All played a part in the Great Osprey Hoax.
 
 
 
 
The Crown and Anchor in June 1986
 

The Castle Hotel in 1986
 
The Crown and Anchor in 1986. Note the white shed, which often served as our accommodation in the 1970s, to the right of the pub.
 
 

The Former Iron Rails in 1986
The Northumberland Arms (later known as The Ship) in 1986
 

The Crown and Anchor in November 1999
 
The (former) Iron Rails in November 1999, looking more prosperous with the stone walls exposed.
 
The Ship (formerly The Northumberland Arms) in November 1999
 
The Great Osprey Hoax
One bitterly cold weekend at the end of March 1973, a group of us were comfortably installed in The Crown and Anchor. While Terry Smith, Alan Billingham and myself were content to sit in the bar drinking beer, Baron Styxton had far more adventurous thoughts. He was fascinated by the wildlife on the island and tried to encourage us to investigate the sand dunes. This proved too much for us and so the legend of the osprey was born.
During one of the Baron’s absences from the bar (well, beer does have that effect), we concocted a plan to give us some peace and quiet. We agreed, with the connivance of the Landlord, his wife and a few locals, to tell him about the unprecedented appearance on the island of an osprey. When the Baron returned, someone carefully introduced the theme of this rare bird and sightings on the far corner of the island. The Baron was hooked and listened with increasing fascination to stories about this bird. As the evening rolled on, descriptions of the animal and its habits became increasingly fantastic and often contradictory, but with the liberal application of beer, The Baron continued to believe. Sometime after midnight, we left the bar for a good night’s sleep in our shed. Baron Styxton was now determined to see the osprey for himself, even though he knew the only chance was to cross the dunes at dawn.
At daybreak, Terry, Alan and I were awoken by The Baron readying himself for his great ornithological expedition. He tried in vain to persuade us to accompany him but we all resisted, preferring to stay in bed. Eventually, armed with a camera, The Baron left the shed. After a few minutes, we carefully peeked out of the window to observe the lone figure of Styxton tramping across the deserted, freezing sand dunes, determined in the face of a North Sea gale. It was 1st April 1973.
Hours later, when we were sitting comfortably in the bar, The Baron returned. He was nithered (frozen to the bone). He had spent hours looking for a non-existent bird. The only animal he had seen was a dead seagull. Of course no-one dared to mention the truth.
A couple of months later, a group of us were gathered in The Norseman in Peterlee for a session. Someone asked The Baron about his unsuccessful search for the osprey. After a few stories about the weekend, somebody else asked Styxton if he remembered the date of our trip to Lindisfarne. As the truth finally dawned, his face darkened and several of us were forced to leave the bar in a hurry.
This incident was followed by several dreadful bird-related puns, including ‘let us pray’ before taking a drink of beer, ‘it was only a yolk, Baron’ and ‘set a good eggsample, Styxton’. On one occasion, The Baron returned to his seat to find that someone had clipped a plastic bird with spring legs to his pint glass. Fortunately, Styxton took all this in his stride and continued drinking.
Britain might have hit a low point in fashion in the 1970s, but there is still no excuse for this lot. Gordon Walton, Tony Doyle, Alan Billingham (wearing straw hat) and Martin Allen on Lindisfarne in 1973.
 


 



 
 

 

1 comment:

  1. Could it have been a barmaid at the Norseman who asked the Baron Styxton about the date of his expedition?

    Yes it bloody well could have been.

    So what's wrong with that?

    It means that the story had been spread all over the pub.

    And is it true that Tommy Allen never took part in the school sports day?

    That's true too. Said he couldn't run very fast.

    Ran bloody fast to escape from the Norseman that night. And he left most of a pint of beer on the bar in his urge to rush off.

    ReplyDelete